When God Feels Distant

Host: TJ Freeman

Summary: In this episode of 'Back to Rurality,' host TJ Freeman discusses the sense of isolation that can come from living in rural areas and how it can make you feel distant from God. TJ is joined by guest CJ Dematitis, who shares his journey from an urban upbringing in D.C. and Baltimore to finding God glorifying ministry in rural Pennsylvania. They explore the challenges and blessings of rural life, emphasizing the importance of Scripture, community, and sitting under good preaching in deepening one's faith. CJ recounts how God's creation and supportive friends helped him feel less isolated and helped him grow more spiritually. They explain the need for expositional preaching and reliance on God's Word, encouraging listeners to seek out a healthy church.

Connect with Us:

• Website: backtorurality.com
• Social Media: Facebook
• Email: tj@brainerdinstitute.com

Transcript

TJ: Have you ever had one of those days? It's just tough. You feel like nothing's going your way, and then you pray, you turn to the Lord, but you feel like the Lord's really distant. Feels like he can be hard to find. If you've ever had a day like that, this is the episode for you. Well, hello, thank you for joining another episode of Back to Rurality.

My name is TJ Freeman, and just like you, I live in the middle of nowhere. Which, I've actually learned to be thankful for. Sometimes when you live in the middle of nowhere, it can be a little hard to feel like you're as close to the Lord because it's quiet and lonely out in places like that. And it can feel quiet and lonely in your soul as well.

And today, we have a special guest. Another guy with initials. His name is C. J. Dematitis, but you can call him. C. J. Demataytay. C. J., welcome. 

CJ: You could. Yeah, thank you for having me. It's been a joy to be here. 

When you mentioned you were starting this podcast, it was exciting for me, just because, you know, it's, no one really seems to care about the rural places. And just to know that the whole goal of this is to draw people to God, even in places where you got more deer than people in your county, or even more deer than cars, or any of that. So, yeah. 

TJ: Well, you bring an interesting perspective to say, you have felt like maybe rural places are places that nobody cares about. So, most of our listeners being rural do care about them. But why would you say it feels sometimes like they're places that not as many people care about? 

CJ: I mean, for those who don't know me, I'm not from a rural place. I grew up right in the center of D. C. and Baltimore . 

TJ: Are there a lot of people there? 

CJ: A lot of people is an understatement, TJ. Yep. In a five mile radius of my home, we had seven, eight high schools, each with hundreds of people in them. And so to where we were at, you're just a number.

You're not a person, and for me, growing up, the people out there and the boondocks, as I would call it 

TJ: Yep. 

CJ: We're just the weirdos, but having moved out into the country, out into God's creation, I realized God is still glorified, even in places where people tend to forget about. 

TJ: Alright, so just to be clear, does everybody who lives in a city think that rural people are weird?

CJ: I know I'm an outlier, but I think not most, but there is a percentage. And I mean, you see that in the news, you see that sadly in politics, you see that in culture. Yeah. It's the fly over states is a term we use a lot of the times. But having lived in Tioga County, rural Pennsylvania, you see these are people with lives, with issues with some of the same things that I had growing up and God still cares just as much for them as they did for me and my upbringing and he still will care and he still would be glorified by the lives in all regions. 

TJ: So what brought you from the big city with lots of people who apparently were more normal out to the middle of nowhere with us weirdos? 

CJ: Yeah. First things first is just God and His grace.

But a big thing was I was out in Bible college and I was living in Louisville, Kentucky, or as we called it, the correct pronunciation, Louisville. 

TJ: Yeah. Sounds like you just drooled all over yourself. A little bit. It's like saying rural. 

CJ: It's like you got a frog in your throat is how I describe it. Yep. But yeah, just having this yearning to know God better and to make God known in all places. 

TJ: This is what brought you to the middle of nowhere? 

CJ: Part of it. Yeah. Well, also they sent a pastor up and I felt sorry for him and the joke was on me because he brought me up with him. 

TJ: So we sent Josh McLaren, who does a lot of rural work with us, to Boyce College to recruit men to give their lives to the middle of nowhere through some of our training at the Brainerd Institute.

And CJ was the poor sap who saw Josh all alone and felt bad for him. So, you ended up deciding you'd come to the rural. Now, when you first got to the middle of nowhere, how did that affect you? 

CJ: It was hard. I will fully admit. Coming from a place where we had all these different types of foods. If you know me, you know I'm a giant sports fan.

 I had season tickets to a local soccer team that I'd go to every single week. Just enjoyed that hustle and bustle, and so it was hard losing, I felt, some freedoms. But, through prayer, through just being around people that are living life, and through the church, and through serving God's people, I realized that God is glorified regardless.

TJ: So, just before you relieved the tension of, okay, I struggled, but, but God. In that struggle, did you have some of the feelings I talked about in the intro where it's like God is not out here? 

CJ: Yeah, I felt so alone. Had a roommate at the time and he grew up in it and he knew all the things to do and it wasn't stuff I enjoyed.

For us, the woods was an organized park that the government had to put up for you. And so living on top of a hill where there's trees for miles was so shocking to me. And I had never really gone hiking like that. I had never really gone hunting, never gone backpacking, kayaking, any of these things that, to everyone in the county, in the area, that's normal.

You do that for fun. 

TJ: Suddenly you were the weirdo. 

CJ: And now exactly, I'm the weirdo, caring way too much about sports, have the yearning for Thai food. 

TJ: Mm. Mm hmm. 

CJ: Yeah. So it was definitely hard. I felt very isolated. I would tell my friends, why am I here?

TJ: Wait, real quick. We don't have Thai food, but most of the food we eat was tied up at some point. Yeah. 

CJ: That's a good one. 

TJ: Anyway. It's from a different perspective because you were from an urban area and you moved to rural and that led to some of, if I understand you right, maybe being down a little bit. Feeling alone, isolated and rural people feel the same thing, which you experienced the full weight of why that is.

There's not as many people around. There's not as much stuff to do. The work and even the fun things have a lot of labor to them. Let's strap packs to our back and go hiking through the woods. So even the entertainment is labor related. Yeah. People didn't share the same interests as you because there's just not as many people.

All of those things are feelings that we can have as rural people because of the nature of being rural. It's much more isolated and alone. A lot of times weather can affect how you feel in those situations, all that. All right. So now let's relieve the tension. So you had your, but the Lord kind-of-a-moment, how did the Lord make himself known to you?

CJ: I think a big thing was he caused me to re evaluate my heart. Re evaluate my purpose. When figuring out what I was doing after graduation and deciding to come up to Wellsboro, it was a desire for God to be known. It's a desire for me to live out God's call for his people, which is to love God and to love others.

And I wrestled with that because like, yeah, I love you, God. I'm here. That's why I love you. But yet in my heart and in my actions, it really showed that I was missing that part. And it took the pastors at the church, TJ and Joe and other pastors, but also just really good friends that I had made to show me that the message is still the same, the gospel is still the same, the goal is still the same.

It just might take a different aspect to it. It might take more intentionality, but at the end of the day, it's remembering who God is. It's knowing that He has a plan for each of us. And all he requires is for us to love him, and to love those he puts in our lives.

TJ: Were there any passages of scripture that jumped out as helpful?

CJ: Yeah, a big one for sure, and I'm currently I'm working on this to preach it, but a big one was Hebrews. The book of Hebrews, which is almost in a way written for guys in a rural place. 

TJ: What do you mean by that? 

CJ: Yeah, so the book of Hebrews is written to Christians that are really wrestling with "Do I keep going?"

TJ: Mm-hmm. 

CJ: The whole book of Hebrews is talking about the need to press on. In Hebrews chapter 12, it talks about, because we have this great crowd of witnesses let us run the race, fixing our eyes to Christ. Mm-hmm. We all agree life is not easy, you know. And sometimes it feels like we're just running and running and there's no goal.

The book of Hebrews is written for guys to realize that. You can press on and it's because in this passage I'll read it for you. It's the ending of the book. It's how we're meant to continue on. In Hebrews 13, verses 20 to 25, it says this, "now, may the God of peace who brought again from the dead, our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep by the eternal covenant to keep you with everything good that you may do, his will. Working in us, which is pleasing in his sight through Jesus Christ, whom be glory. Forever and ever. Amen." 

TJ: What about that stuck out to you as especially encouraging? 

CJ: Yeah. I think the big thing is, you know, God is the one equipping us. Right? When I felt like I couldn't do anything, God was still working in my heart. And He was giving me the love for the people that was once weird, and now I'm the weirdo.

He's giving me joy to be serving in an aspect where I am the oddball. It's giving me the perseverance to press on when I do feel alone. That's because of what He has done for us on the cross. The author of Hebrews is using this eternal covenant to represent Christ's death on the cross, his burial, his resurrection, his ascension into heaven, and his eventual return.

And so that is what we're putting our hope in, that is what is doing the work in our hearts. 

TJ: Alright, so if you're average Joe, Christian, living in the middle of nowhere, and you've had just a bad day today, and you're feeling alone, how would you encourage them to think about a text like that to keep pressing on in whatever it is they're doing?

CJ: Yeah. I will fully admit it's not easy. It is not easy, and especially reading this and saying okay, God's doing the work, but I have to do the work, but God's doing the work. 

TJ: Yeah. 

CJ: But yet it's this verse is why we end a lot of sermons, a lot, why we end a lot of church services with verses like this.

It's just remember who God is. Yeah. Right. We end. A lot of times using these verses here in Hebrews 13 as a way to say, look what God has done. I mean, even through all of scripture, a lot of the times God is just reminding Israel, reminding the Christians, reminding everyone, I am God. I make myself known in creation.

I make myself known through the people, because we're in the image of God, and I make myself known in my word. Hmm. And it's when we remember this, when we look to Him in creation, in His Word, and knowing He, the God who made all things, is the God who is here for us as Christians to help us carry on. I think that's a good first step, at the very least.

TJ: That's great, and that's what, that's what we need today. Just look at the Lord, see, instead of looking at your challenges and your problems and your hardships, take your eyes off from those things. Look at the beautiful place around you that the Lord has made. Then look to his word and realize he's here, he's present, and you can press on.

That's great, CJ. Super helpful. In a second, I want to ask you what your plans are because you and I are not in a rural place right now. Yes. We are in a very busy place. Yeah. Chicago. Chicago. And I heard they have Thai food. They do. And I also hear that they will Thai you up. Yes. Yes. Right? Yeah.

Chicago deep dish. Got to try it. Chicago hot dogs. It's all great. So you're right. There's a lot of good food in big places. Before we get to the why you're here in Chicago, is there anything else you want to say about that passage or anything you want to say to encourage our listeners? 

CJ: Just something that was very helpful, why I have a love now for rural places and why, as we'll get into when I finished my time here in Chicago, I can't wait to get back to God's creation, get back to And it's because where I was living, I'd look out and see the mountains and see the trees and see the animals and see the beautiful sky and say, the God I've been reading about, the God I've been praying to has made this, and he's the one orchestrating all things. He feeds the birds of the air, as he says in the Sermon on the Mount, he flowers, the fields. He's the one at work.

How can you not rejoice and praise knowing even in the hard times, God is still at work in his creation and he'll be at work at the hard times, the good times and the fun times. 

TJ: That's right. That's great. Well, you had your chance to get out of the middle of nowhere and you ended up out here in Chicago, but you just said you want to come back. So tell us just a little bit about what your future looks like. 

CJ: Yeah. So, to kind of give a context why TJ and I are both here. I am currently through the Charles Simeon Trust, which is a preaching workshop. It's a preaching program where they have these weekend events for pastors and ministry leaders and deacons and elders where they train guys in biblical exegesis. Which is just learning how to take what's from the text and to properly preach it and faithfully preach it. That you keep the meaning of the text but also are able to apply it. 

They have a program called the Chicago Course on Preaching where they take all their workshops and they really hammer down through all the different types of scripture through prophecy, through eschatology, end time stuff, to the gospels, to the epistles, to the Old Testament, and they're giving guys tools so that they can better preach and teach God's Word, but also raise up other pastors to preach and teach God's Word.

TJ: Why would we need something like that in the middle of nowhere? 

CJ: Yeah. Well just as we read, we have a God who makes himself known, but also, he doesn't end at making himself known, he wants to be known. That's why we all have Bibles today, that's why if you'll read the epistles, it's talking about the importance of teaching. Paul and all the letters says, I have taught you the truths of God. 

In Acts he talks about, I've taught you the full counsel of God. In Acts 20, that we need men to make God known. We need women to make God known. We need people making God known to those around us. 

TJ: So what role does preaching play in that? 

CJ: Yeah. A big thing in scripture is the church, right? It's the gathering of Christians together to encourage and to edify and to grow.

And part of growth is teaching. Right? We are given the means of grace, which is God's word. And it's when we proclaim God's word, we're proclaiming grace to each other. Faith comes through hearing the word of God preached. It's like what Paul says in Romans 10, "and talking about belief. How then will they call on him, him being Jesus, how will they call on him who have not believed?

And how will they to believe of him who have not heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?" Preaching is how God is known. It's primarily by preaching through pastors, but it's also through evangelism. It's through us preaching, speaking God's Word towards each other. 

TJ: Yeah. Well, let me just kind of wrap up with this.

If you are feeling like God is distant, probably you need to increase your dose of God's Word. And one of the best ways to do that, I mean, you should do that through your own careful study. But you should also do that by sitting under really good preaching. Christ builds his church, and he does it using the preaching of his word. And you want to be built up, and you need to sit under good, healthy teaching, and in your small town you might not yet have a church that's just faithfully handling God's word.

If you do, praise the Lord, but in many, many small towns that is not the case. So something else I would encourage you to do is pray for guys like CJ. Pray that the Lord will either raise up in your community men who care a lot about preaching the word rightly for the good of the body of Christ there.

Or pray that God would send somebody in who's received some training. And if you want to talk to us at the Brainerd Institute, we'd love to have a conversation about that. So, Hey, thanks for joining us here on this episode of back to rurality. 

CJ: It's been a joy. I've been listening to it and I've been asking TJ, Hey, when can I get on there?

TJ: I'm really glad it worked out. That's been really great. So, well, Hey guys, thanks for tuning in. For now, let's get back to life, back to rurality. Bye bye.